Unplugged

So we’ve been doing the “unplugged” thing in our household.  Partially, anyway.  And not voluntarily.  But that’s a story for another day.

We have no cable TV service, Internet service, or phone service.  I figured – no big deal – we can make do for a few days.

Day One.  “It’s gonna be a long couple of days, but we can deal with it.”  My child watches a lot of Nick Jr.  A lot.  But she also has DVD’s to watch.  I can check email and Facebook on my phone, I can check news on my phone, I can text.  And I can get things done around the house in the time that I usually waste online!  And I did.  I cleaned both upstairs bathrooms, dusted upstairs and vacuumed upstairs.  Great!  The kiddo watched Yo Gabba Gabba, Blues Clues and Diego on DVD.  My mom finished The Hunger Games and started Catching Fire.  Hubby found some kid-friendly games on the computer and started playing them with the little one.  He showed me how to play Spider Solitaire.

Day Two.  Pretty much a repeat of Day One without all the cleaning.  I really like Spider Solitaire.  I got all the pictures off of my camera and all of the videos off of the video camera.  I edited a few videos.  We’re spending a lot of time outside riding bikes, playing ball and catching lightning bugs!  My mom asks if she can watch something other than the kid’s shows.  We remind her that the service is off.  We watch a couple of movies.

Day Three.  Hubby took the kiddo outside to play at her water table for a couple of hours.  I cleaned the downstairs bathroom, dusted, ran the vacuum and mopped the floors downstairs.  I’m kind of liking the partially unplugged thing.  I really waste a lot of time online and watching TV.  We’re spending more quality family time!  Yay!  A friend stops over for a little while.  My mom asks if she can watch something other than the kid’s shows.  We remind her that the service is off.  We watch a couple of movies.

Day Four.  Not much to do.  The house is clean.  Sorted through a bunch of paperwork.  That took a couple of hours.  I’m getting pretty tired of seeing the same couple episodes of Blues Clues, Yo Gabba Gabba and Diego over and over and over again.  Checking email on my stupid phone is a pain in the ass.  Forget about Facebook.  It takes eons to even load.  I play Spider Solitaire.  A lot.  My mom asks if she can watch something other than the kid’s shows.  We remind her that the service is off.  We watch a couple of movies.

Day Five.  I think we can get our services turned back on today, but turns out we can’t.  Hrmph.  Spider Solitaire is starting to get old and so are the 3 “new” kid-friendly games that the kid wants to play over and over.  I can’t take much more Gabba so I force the kid to watch an old Veggie Tales VHS.  She likes it, though.  I do laundry.  I do Sudoku.  I try to check email on my phone.  I want to bash my phone against a wall. My mom asks if she can watch something other than the kid’s shows.  I remind her that the service is off.  I put on a movie for her.

Day Six.  The kid is on my last nerve.  By 9:00 AM, I have made the bed, dressed her, given her juice and breakfast, put a “show” on for her (damned Yo Gabba Gabba), done the dishes, and made coffee.  I don’t go near the computer all day for the Spider Solitaire, although I play it on my phone a little bit.  By 11:00 AM I have showered and dressed, cleaned up the kid’s messy room, put away some clean laundry and have some more going.  I spread white paper out on the dining room table and drag out all of my old rubber stamps and inks, along with colored pencils.  I do like that we are doing “arts & crafts” together and she really loves it.  We color for quite a while.  My mom asks if she can watch something other than the kid’s shows.  I remind her that the service is off.  I put on a movie for her.  Outside.  Kiddo rides her bike a little, plays with neighbor kids.  Back in for lunch.  More stamping.  Back outside.  Back in.  We make Jell-O.  Dear God, is it only 2:00?  The laundry is done and there is nothing to clean.  By the way, we also don’t have the car because I didn’t feel like getting up at 3:00 AM to drop hubby off.  More rounds of outside, inside.  She won’t listen to me and it’s driving me batty.  I have too much of my mother in me.  When the child ignores me, I start to go ballistic.  Spider Solitaire isn’t helping.   My mom asks if she can watch something other than the kid’s shows.  I remind her that the service is off.   Hubby gets home around 5:30, I cook, we eat, I do the dishes and make his coffee for the morning.  He goes to bed.  More bike riding.  Finally in for the night and kiddo wants to watch some “home videos” on the computer.  She watches for a while.  PJ’s, books, brush teeth, time to snuggle up.  I decide to put in a movie for myself.  Screen says “loading” for an awfully long time … DVD is not loading.  I try to open it.  It won’t open.  It is stuck.  NOOOOOOOOO!  Dear GOD, NO!!!  The DVD player is my only salvation at this point!!!!   OK.  I will play Wii.  We never play Wii, might as well get some use out of it.  Load a game.  Remote has dead batteries.  We have no more batteries.

Try for 10 minutes to pry DVD tray open with a nail file.  It won’t budge.  I hear the little motor inside trying to make it open.  I’m certain it will burn out before morning.

Text best friend.  “Please take pity on me. Let’s do something tomorrow.”  Have not heard back from her.

Wine.  Cigarettes.  (Yes, I know, I know – shut up.)

If you don’t hear from me again, you’ll know I didn’t make it through Day Seven.  Or Eight.  God willing, there will not be a Day Nine.

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2 thoughts on “Unplugged

  1. Oh my. Wait how did you write this with no internet?? Don’t tell me on your phone?! I give you credit my friend! Iwas reading that cringing but I have to say I bust out laughing by about the 3rd time your mom asked about watching something else LOL. That is funny stuff! But in all seriousness, I don’t know how you did it. I hope you are all back to normal now!
    When we lost power with the hurricane last year, I was going batty b/c all we had were our blackberries. Ahhhh! We did end up going to a hotel after a day b/c Julianna was small then and we had no water – so we had to go until our power was back. But I don’t think I could have gone much longer- we didn’t have power, water, toilet (AHHH!) – so i feel your pain.

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